14 Comments
User's avatar
Kay's avatar

Hugs and more hugs to you, Camilla. Books and movies can sometimes serve to open our eyes to understanding our own lives. ❤️

Expand full comment
Camilla Joy's avatar

Thank you Kay ❤️❤️

Expand full comment
Caitlin McGuire's avatar

I think every teenage girl should read ACOMAF because this passage would have made my life very different in my 20s. "I’m thinking that I must have been a fool in love to allow myself to be shown so little of the Spring Court. I’m thinking there’s a great deal of that territory I was never allowed to see or hear about and maybe I would have lived in ignorance forever like some pet. I’m thinking . . . I’m thinking that I was a lonely, hopeless person, and I might have fallen in love with the first thing that showed me a hint of kindness and safety. And I’m thinking maybe he knew that – maybe not actively, but maybe he wanted to be that person for someone. And maybe that worked for who I was before. Maybe it doesn’t work for who – what I am now."

Expand full comment
Camilla Joy's avatar

Yes, yes, YES!! That is such an important quote. I also love how the perspective changes from her being a "fool" to her being vulnerable. The move toward compassion toward oneself is so important. Thanks for sharing this quote!

Expand full comment
Sosa's avatar

This was SUCH A GOOD READ!!!! Thank you for sharing

Expand full comment
Camilla Joy's avatar

Thank you!! 🥹

Expand full comment
Carolyn Ellis's avatar

And they say romantasy is empty fluff with no higher value… what do they know? Truths that are important to women are important truths, full stop, no matter what a bunch of fratboy high fantasy snobs have to say about it. I loved this article, and I’m so proud of you for getting out and giving yourself room to bloom 🌺

My one-line review of ACOTAR was “lucky idiot falls for walking red flag and gives herself PTSD saving his useless ass”. I HATED the first book. I almost didn’t read the second because of the Twilight-esque “I’m smothering you in the name of protection” vibes. I told myself if that went on past the first few chapters, I would DNF. And then Rhys happened, and it got gooood. A great, entertaining, unexpectedly empowering series. I look forward to more of them ❤️

Expand full comment
Camilla Joy's avatar

Haha! I love that review! I’m embarrassed to admit I was a full Tamlin girly in the first book, but I am SO glad it got better.

I went on to read SJM’s Throne of Glass series, which (in my opinion) is WAY better in terms of compelling characters and their development. I loved it. Some of the lines/truths have been so inspiring and really needed during this extremely difficult time of my life.

Expand full comment
Carolyn Ellis's avatar

I actually purchased Throne of Glass after I finished the ACOTAR books, but I have't had time to read them yet. Hopefully they'll be a good summer vacation binge!

And there's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about for not seeing the red flags the first time through... part of what makes the unexpected turn in book two so powerful is the way she plays on cultural expectations. Tamlin is deliberately coded as a typical romantic hero, and in exposing his problematic traits she's calling out an entire literary tradition, and by extension the expectations we bring to our real life romances. We've had our desires and expectations shaped by that tradition to such an extent that her disruption of it is literally subversive and can feel like violence - as your experience can attest! It took me years to understand why Twilight was such a deeply flawed model for romantic love, and I wish I'd had a Sarah J Maas to show me what a relationship that prioritizes autonomy, respect, and self-determination looks like by contrast. It would have saved me a lot of time and grief in my own relationships 😅

Expand full comment
julie elder's avatar

Abandonment feels so overwhelming—that’s been a theme for my life too. I’m glad you chose to be there for yourself. ❤️

Expand full comment
Camilla Joy's avatar

Thank you Julie! ❤ I'm glad I'm showing up for myself too. In therapy last week we talked about how to self-soothe and nurture myself.

Expand full comment
julie elder's avatar

So good—I often forget to do that…

Expand full comment
David Schonberg's avatar

Oh Camilla, thank you for sharing this. THANK YOU FOR FIGHTING FOR YOURSELF! Thank you for reading a story and being willing to see that you were reading your story… and choosing your own ending!!

This line was equal parts poetic and heartbreaking:

“I spent my days holding my breath and my nights holding my tears.”

I’m so glad you are writing a new ending!!

Expand full comment
Camilla Joy's avatar

I am so grateful for stories! As soon as I finished the ACOTAR series I started reading her other series, Throne of Glass, and it has been so inspiring and beautiful to watch characters overcome enormous odds, sacrifice so much, grow and learn and fail and make mistakes and fall in love and choose kindness over and over again. Stories are so powerful, and I'm grateful that I now feel empowered to write my own story!

Expand full comment